just come out here and I will go home with you...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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