If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
