i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
