Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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