forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
