I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
