drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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