He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
