She's like a pop up book from hell.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
