he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
