She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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