Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just high enough for therapy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
