i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize