I cockslap morals
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
