what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
