you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Apparently you make a good broom.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
