is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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