Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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