Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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