why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
