You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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