i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
