so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
