suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize