ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i permit you to call me
Jerry, you need to find god
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
