We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I supernannyed him into submission
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
