Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I need to align my fucking chakras
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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