Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
