i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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