Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
