her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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