Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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