Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How's work?
Spinning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
