And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
