So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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