Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
