Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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