we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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