Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
