my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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