I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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