when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize