i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
