how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
