please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
