but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
