stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I FOUND THE LEGS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
