After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
