you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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