I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
