I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
