I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I believe in your delicious
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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