I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
