Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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