Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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