I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
